Self pitty

I have a common cold, but it is hard to cope with.
There is so much I like to do but the sneezing and the running nose makes it different to cope. I don't remember when I ever had a headache before and it isn't killing me right now, just one of the symptoms that goes with the cold. More than ever I feel alone. I took a tylenol , felt better for a while and could not stay idle. So I went out and carried the wood Cornell cut at the fall. Not very sensible. It was heavy even so I carried it one piece at the time. The cold came back with a double dose of tiredness and back ache. I did miss this Sunday's service because of it. I could not stop coughing and sneezing. My tears and my nose was running, often without a break to pick up a kleenex.
I try to do some work for my next book, but it does not get very complete as I feel sorry and aching.
I am glad Dirk phoned. He was willing to come and help, but I am not that cruel to pass my germs to him.
Impatient, sorry for myself. The daily work has to be done. I do pray for God's help to recover of it.

March 16th
Dirk phoned again today. I'm grateful for that he remembers me. I guess I am recoverig slowly.
Though I do miss having some conversation and discussions about my work. I did take some pictures I imagined to fit in the book, but how do I know if it is worth the
thought I put in it? Hope Dirk will come after the March school holiday and I can make a step or two towards the accomplishing the book. Creating isn't easy if you don't know how the future readers will interpret my perception. At least I think I am on the cure to be more clear tomorow.

The sun and wind

have icy teeth

snowflakes dancing between

tretcherous weather

straches the waiting

for dandelion smiles

soul gets restless for spring air.

Though I'm sitting in cozy warm room

busy knitting miles of yarn

words are shaking my mind

creativity feels neglected

not even an excuse for crying.


.

Floods

This last picture I took as soon as Marjorie left. By then It was really scary outside. The ice had been broken somewhere down the river and it was going wild here breaking trees where the pieces had flooded above the shore. The river was roaring and the trees were cracking, like
there was somebody trying to cut them all at once. On this picture I did not manage to catch the broken trees and lot of other debris that was going down. Powerful!
But it did make me feel glad that I am safe.


Last night while reading a book in bed I could hear all kinds of noises outside. Could not concentrate on reading. Put away the book and still listening to the wind blowing and , what I thought trees braking , fell asleep.This morning the wind woke me up early. It was still so noisy.


It was to dark to see outside, so I made my coffee and read my routinely devotions, though extended because of the time I had.


By then the daylight had come up. An when I looked outside - I just grabbed my camera and just the way I was, in a housecoat, and outside wind and rain, I went out to take the pictures. The one with the water on the right side was my side of the river. See how far the bush is in the water. I could not place all on one picture so I took the other one from the other side the river. It was as far as their road is. It was scary to look at. This is my 41st winter here, but only the 4Th time the river got so high.


I did take more pictures, but was scared to damage the camera in the rain, came in to have breakfast.
Did not have no rest. Kept going to the window and watching what happens. There was just wild outside. It rained, then turned to wet snow for about fifteen minutes and back to rain again. The wind - I never liked it anyway - kept my mind restless. I was just running every few minutes to the window expecting some changes.


Then Marjory came for a visit and for that time I forgot about the river




This is the picture of how high it went on the other side.

I still have not learned how to arrange all the pictures and text in the time sequence. I don't know if I will live long enough to get it all. It has taken me so much , my own and Dirk's (thank you!) to get where I am. I had posted one picture twice and it took me the rest of the day to remove it. I don't know if I'll remember if it happens again.
Anyway, the weather has calmed down, the river has receded some from the overflow, so this might be a good night without noises.

snowing, snowing...

It is beginning to be to monotonous that snowing, day after day. A friend sent me this picture from Chris Fraiers Zen Gardens. That is where we had a good time last August weekend reading and writing poetry. So I had an instant inspiration to remember the place. I did e-mail it back to the photographer (copy rights?) and he send an answer back: "I am speechless. . . A perfect haiku for a halcyon Zen river Gardens, thank you.

It did give me an uplift though it still snows here and the only inspiration is the crowds of cardinals, squirrels an junkies on my doorstep. Tough better company than none.

That constant snowing does good to look at for a day or two, but now it dulls my creative thinking. Just can't imagine what to do to start living poetically again.

What a moon!

I thought I had a so called writers blog. No inspiration to write anything "poetical". However this morning, after two nights having -30C , first thing I saw was at the west side of the sky the departing moon as brilliant as the sun in the brightest day. It's getting more in the shadow of the earth but it left the impression it's laughing at all the world.

I remember hearing and reading in the old time Farmer's Almanacs that the frost in June and in end of August or September are always coming when moon is full. It was full just three days ago. Is that the trick it pulled on us? I was curious what the science has to say about. I clicked on Google and questioned "Is there scientific explanation of cold at full moon time". It took me hours to read, but there was no definite answer. All kinds of formulas, but they did not mention any connection with the moon. How did the old time farmers got to that observation? I have been watching it too and it is happening, though not always the same strength.

For having a peace of mind I just let the thought go. God created the world and the whole universe and all the parts in it. So that is his order why these things happen; not that we always pay attention to it or try to work knowing it with.

It was though a very pretty sight this morning. I don't think I ever had noticed that the moon can be so bright especially when the sun is already up on the other side of the sky.

Superstition or faith?...

2009 first sunrise

One of those moments I wish my feelings were contagious from soul to soul. The picture really does not reflect the brilliance I saw on that tree. It was sparkling in the first sun rays more than highly polished gold. It felt like a fairy tree down from heaven. Snow covered the whole surroundings in pure white. clean as clean can ever be. Beginning of a new year - a new chance to begin again. I was so happy that it had not snowed too much and I would be able to get out to the church service. Just the best beginning to have any time in life. I just had to hold my breath and thank the Lord that He touches me this way. It feels like there is peace, light and power to see beyond daily routines and roughness.

It makes me be still and know - God is right here...even if no one believes me (I don't think I am insane yet).

Begining January 1st 2009

I did stay awake, I had my glass of wine, I had money in my pocket, I had a piece of new clothing on - so old time customs are all met.

First picture, new moon, new day, new year -

new beginning ....

Best wishes, peace, love and God's blessings to all

with all my heart

Anna