just a floating thought of today

I looked at this picture I took last week and now my thoughts went behind the actual sight. Nature are God's unspoken language. He made our life like the water streams - unpredictable in power, but not always to be used for our convenience or pleasure. We do build our life like we dream about, but we never know when a stone bolder or any other resistance comes our way. We think we can manage it all, but - can we swim contently or at all in this kind of faze in the life's river flow? We should be able to build bridges over these turbulent streams, but how do we know if the river ever simmers down to a quiet pond or lake where we could have a contented swim or even a wash in hard winter times? I am always floating in the unrealistic perceptions. Why? My life is at the "winter" of it, but I can't stop interpreting all the pretty pictures I see in nature as God talking to me either to remember what mistakes I made or if there is anything I should leave to think about for the next generation. All I know we have to think a lot more of what we left behind and what we like to have in the future. It isn't always what we like and there are consequences unavoidable in our power. Why do I have to think and write publicly about it? I don't know, just had to do it. May God bless every one to build their life, especially without asking God's help.

just meditating

Not very visible on this photo, but I was trying to catch the first snowflakes on the picture. It must take a better professional photographer or more photo shop work to put it together to be believable. So is entire life. You can not catch and hold a moment or recall and hold onto yesterday. Every day we have to part with something even if it is only the day gone by. We can not know what will come next morning. I have fought hard into my mind about all the psychological and scientific terminologies for feelings, chemical actions in our bodies , science and all that we assume for granted in a run of a day. But Life from the day you are born is a mystery and I have quite a long and colourful life behind to see that it isn't us that arrange the life. We accept somethings as right; we don't have any idea what is right. Is there an absolute right? I have been through rough and nice times, have laughed and cried no end at times. I have searched solutions in different social communications, but at this time I only know, mind you even that doubtful, God is the safest one to believe and feel safe. Man made religious organizations do help if you find one that cares for your soul and tries what is disturbing it. Sometimes we ourselves don't know what are we searching for. I don't believe that anyone is entirely content how routinely life runs. There is more to it. So why I catch the first sight of the first snowflakes? Maybe the winter's snow white cower will bring a clean-white view to my soul. - I know I am only trying to console myself to find peace within my own soul about the friends and people around me who are not happy and don't slow down to see how little it takes to find joy to live if we let God run our life. Catching snowflakes is just a moment to see that all what is in this world isn't for us to have. It is hard to find peace in your soul all by yourself, even if you seem to have all you need. My soul is demanding and it is hard to put it into entire peace.

What makes me think about all this? Is my soul so bad or so hurt that I can not stop searching for the ultimate peace? Is there one?

A day to calm down

I do like to write a blog entry about this day, but silently am afraid of how people and my family who will read it responds to it. However it is my feelings and my thoughts, for today. I don't like to be looked at as an advertising board for Eduard Klassen's performances, but to me he leaves like moment of sunshine in a day that gets darker towards coming winter and when the world does not think about anything else than the crush prospect in financial market. Money has never purchased peace in any one's soul. I've been to quite a few of Eduard's performances and every time he has spoken and played the harp from the depth of his soul . He has found God's grace at all fazes in his life. Hearing it told some how including humor he is a great witness to God's presence on every step in his life. It makes me like to hear his testimony again and again, it helps me to "dust" my soul and be more humble.
This picture is at Burton Ave United Church in Barrie, Mr. Klassen preparing to play.

mixed emotions

Just trying to find a picture that shows how I feel at this moment. This flower, I call it the Madonna of flowers, touched me. Remaining raindrops - tears of heaven - I suppose are needed to keep it so pure looking. Tears - I have had so many in my life that I wonder if God sent them to make my soul pure? I See and feel , I assume, different than other people. That makes it very hard to have a balanced and peaceful life. I remember my father saying: people think - God does.

Now I wonder where am I? Do I think right or does God make me hear different voices to guide my next step? It is hard and I don't know how to get my own soul at peace. I know I can't change the world and even if I try to stir up somebody else's thinking it isn't in my power to let it happen. Right or wrong - it keeps on asking: God, where are you? I feel like I am teetering on a sharp edge and am afraid to fall. Friends to hold me up I have a few, but they not here every moment I desperately need their support. I pray and still wonder - what next?

At Bracebridge

Yesterday watching all the water falls and natures formations , my mind recalled all the parallels in life and nature. We do wander and step over or bypass so many little things without
thinking why it is there, how did it get where it is and why is it as it is. Do we look at beautiful things and places just because of their form or colour? To me it all are unwritten messages to think about the non visible symbolism or metaphors or even guidance to live, that God keeps sending to us. How often do we try to read and interpret that application to our lives?
Lot of the flowers don't bloom in our lifes, because we trample on them. Lot of the thorns are piercing us, because we don't pay attention where we go. Tears - washes the wounds, but does not bring back time.
I guess I should quit, I am getting too deep in my thoughts for now. The little haiku just came with this picture when I could not pass by. At the time it just stirred my attention and I took it.
Now I think it is great to reflect.

Life’s river reflects
Many flowers, thorns and tears
Just temporary

it felt like Sunday

My sister came today and we went looking at the autumn coloured trees on roads we never been before. This road side maple alley made me think about human autumn. Both of us are in the later part of it. Each one ages differently, not by our choice. We did not use exactly the same words to enjoy the colourful views, but it certainty was a day as I can remember, we never had together in this country. We both are widows, not feeling like going anywhere alone, it makes the loneliness feel more even if the sights are beautiful; it was. I thank God for having such a day and told her that was the best part of it. The picture might not be the best we saw, but I am still not very familiar what my camera can do and how I should handle it. Anyway, it was a day better than any Caribbean holiday.Tough early couple days, great Thanks Giving Day for me.

Eduard Klassen

I went yesterday to Eduard Klassen's performance at the Clearwater Community Church in Stayner. I just love his performances. He is not only a musician, playing the Paraguayan harp, but he also tells mission stories the way he has experienced them with a joy, thankfulness and humor. One does not have to belong to any particular church to listen to his confessions how he accepted God's presence in all situations.

The hour he performs went by so fast I wished for more. He has the next performance closes here is on the 26th October in Barrie. I'm looking forward to go there. I have been to quite a few of his concerts and amazing how he always comes out with different stories. I have his biography book, but the way he tells the stories they are very entertaining, humorous and makes you think how little we know of God's world.

Plums

There is Nat picking plums in their own backyard. I am glad that there are still people to use the earth for some more productive reasons than just perfect lawn. They are not only good to watch as they grow but also a vitamin supply for winter home made and money saved. Today's children usually have no chance to see were from and how their food gets on the table.

The plums are yummy looking, but Nat is the best looking friend I have. Hope he enjoys the plums.

I did it

This is the third time I am doing it. I accomplished to write this on the second try, but accidentally deleted it. Now I have no more time to repeat all I had written. Just thank you for sending me a flower though only on the Internet.

It did challenge me to write and I did on my haiku card too.

It was hard to get it in this blog. It takes so long to upload.
It is sort of shady day. Once in a while the sun comes out, but like the story tells, the ash tree sprouts the leaves late and sheds them first. Nature tells the weather story, we just don't pay attention to understand it.
This is what I see first thing in the morning as I open my eyes still in bed. Amazing how I got used to whatch that particular tree grow taller and how it reacts for the seasons. It does impress on my mood for the day starting. When the leaves turned yellow it looked beautiful, but the beauty was a begining of the announcement for the autumn. Now it's just a question: when is the first frost appearing?
There is moment in this morning's sight to think about, namely Thanks Giving. I have few people I can't find words how to say thank you good enough. So the best I can do silently thank God for sending them in my life.
I started the course in Photography and that will take some time out of my creative production in writing. The chalenge is trilling. Never too old to learn; keeps me outof mischief.
It took me best part of this day to accomplish this, but it is one step forward and the day was not entirely wasted.
Wow, I made it without grammatical errors too.

still confused

I managed to get the picture I wrote yesterday on.I just could not figure out how to add the text beside or above it without opening a new posting.
The text I was trying to write yesterday was about having a lot of arthritic pain and this registered right away in my mind: why is the end of my life's road so painful? Will there be a Light after the end?
Though the place where I took this picture radiated peace though the walking was rough. Am I dwelling in too mach negative thoughts?
I still like the picture, it is encouraging.