It's comming

It was not there yesterday, but today driving to Barrie it just clicked in my mind: autumn has kissed some trees. Vow! That was a line for a poem. I was driving the regular speed and all the autumn's fiery touches passed by to fast to stop and take a picture. Though the line was clinging in my head "Autumn has kissed some. It must have happened last night by the full moon shine.

Romantic? - Or just me - floating in the unreal.

Came back slowly watching to find the tree that called for this line. Maybe some other driver behind me were angry for my slow speed, but I id not pretend i noticed. I had to find the tree.

I did. When I stopped on the roads shoulder and took couple pictures at different angles a horse came behind the fence and was talking to me. So naturally I talked back until he posed good enough for picture. It made my day.

Natures creations do make you feel happy, but the mind says summer is on a way out. What will the winter bring?

Well, I better enjoy the touch of the autumn , it will bring more off it .

touch of autumn

It does not seem to be as we remember autumn would be. This year has been different. I know we can not chose or manipulate the weather the way we like or do remember of before. This year appears to be different. Forecasters have been wrong most of the days, more or less.

It does not help the feelings toward a positive attitude about life. It is a question we can not know the answer. It is hard to take it knowing that all things are God's making. I have a hard time to positive attitude about myself. Dull days are depressing. No need to do anything, nobody needs me, just wait . Wait for what? We all know there is an end to our life in this world, but why do I have to think about it so much? I am considerably well health wise, as far as I know. But do I know ? I am scared to think of future dreams, It might be just dreams that never come real.
Being alone I have hard time to keep myself positively thinking and hope I am not wasting the days Lord granted me with. I can not put it in the right words the feeling that does not create exactly a confidence for the next day. Crazy, the general perception, but there is no pattern how we are suppose to be or feel. It is confusingly lonely longing for closer relationships that are very hard to find. We are too much involved in our personal life. Sharing feelings is not a common subject. I don't even know if there has to be a personal care for other people's emotions. I was just thinking about what my sister wrote about the understanding of words. Someone wrote in the readers letters that referring to heart as emotional factor is wrong. It is only a part of our bodily functions, like a mechanical part, that keeps our body functioning.
I thought that this particular person never mentioned soul. Neither did my sister, referring back on emotions in words. She said in a poem : don't scatter words, they are very affective creating feelings or hurting . How do you connect with people? How do you get friends if you are not free of using words the way you feel? I know I am making a big issue off it. Truth is still and always has been the best solution no matter how the feelings are. Feelings are instant reflection and has not given time to our soul to evaluate the few words that appear to be wrong. Am I lost in my thoughts? God gave me the gift of being able to think and decide about what I hear. I do not like to be hasty. Life goes on regardless how we trip and if we get up again and chose another understanding. God's will is a mystery and I don't know what He had in mind to make me think about all this so extensively. I do pray to have a peace in my mind to let things take care by Him...

Closer look

...that is what he wrote after taking walks along the pond and the big maple...

...possibly contemplating peace for his spirit...

Just afterthought

I've been very busy preparing for and attending the Al Purdy's Festival. As usual, I don't understand how come there are very few people I've spoken to who knows who Al Purdy was and still is. (One of Canada's greatest poets.) Sad to know that Canadians know so little about there own literature, especially that have thoughts about life now and after death. This picture I took the last day at Purdy's monument in Ameliasburg cemetery. The picture leaning on it was loaned by his wife Eurithe to show us Al as he used to walk there without any thoughts that he might be buried there. He still is considered as Canada's People's Poet. I think, people don't read poetry much because they don't know how. I've been taught that reading poems one has to be able to take time and read between the lines. Every poet puts his or hers emotions, good or bad, in it without realizing if their words have helped them to grow. Every book we read should teach us something.

I can't understand why so little literature are taught at schools today. Why do we have writers period? Just to fill newspapers with scandal reports and unreal advertising?

At this festival there were poets from Montreal, Ottawa, Sarnia, Hamilton, Toronto and many smaller places. It was an entertainment as well as seminars for who ever liked to learn more how to write. This was the third year there. The poem readings were amazing. I wonder how come Alliston does not have enough interest in hearing some of the writers in person. Have we turned too materialistic and take poetry just as an imagination? Sad not to know there are more to it.

just thinking with no answers...

I received today four of my contemporaries pasing away this week. Some were younger than I parting with this world. I can not avoid thinking about God's will. Where do I stand in there?


I have no spiritual mentor right now. The only way to shake my soul is to put something in poetry, though I am not sure if that gives any relief of thougths about how far is my death


In the book

I’m writing not really knowing what for.
Every one is getting old
There are no written instructions
For process of how.
I think I do believe in God,
But I am human
And how do I know the reality?
So far, I feel, still to have my common sense
To receive aging as it advances.
It’s scary to admit
And hard to drop an ever lasting thought
How will it end?
Will I get disabled and hurt?
Hard to give up the activities
I used to do and liked.
My body starts protesting moves.
Pain is a new element.
Hard to accept consequences.
Do I trust abstract, spiritual, hope to God
When there is no other support
For aging soul to hold onto?…

The only choice to avoid
That shaky waiting time
To leave this world
Don’t think
Just live the best today...

rainy days

My "paradise"
dark morning
like it or not
rain, rain, rain
heaven brightens
nature's greens
different shades to name
I should enjoy
the given power
for living
hard when soul gets soaked

Melancholy

I have not posted for a while.

Spring arrives moody.

All plants are striving to bloom.

Wind, frost, cold...

Social habits to manipulate...

Sad...

All blooms of joy gone.

Just green - still alive -

hope for growth

and harvest.

Memory dreams...