just a thought on a dreary day

Sometimes it feels like you are sharing your pleasures and spiritual gifts with others, but - for once - who reads or shares your feelings? You are as alone as ever, because that is not the present style of life. Who cares about other people's feelings? - They do create anxiety and stress, but - who cares to share them? Spirit - if we have one - and we do not think about it, at least not often without provocation. Life goes on regardles. We do think that we are doing the best we know how. What? We are so involved in todays technical - digital runs of serving problems (they are not digital), that we do not remember or have an excuse that life is too busy to find time for personal conections. As you grow older, like I do (where is the point to say you are getting old) as any day of life, every day is a change and we are not the ones to know what the next day will bring, that is if one believes that there is God who runs our life wether we like it or not. God created us - we come naked in this world and we have to leave it likely barely dressed or incinerated with who knows what rags on.
Where does love go? Have we had one? Did we appriciate it and tried to share the joy of it with others?
Mystery? Or just convenient life taken for granted without any questions where does it come from? Has God made provision to sustain us?
This is one of these days I have to think about, though I don't think I will ever get the answer..

It's finished an other book

That is the cover of my book that has been done for Christmas presents, at least I think so. I feel good accomplishing it. There always is the question why am I still here and what can I do. I think I've done some, God helping. No one can make a living writing poetry, but they might make people think and possibly change their life. I am no preacher, but I know the world and all in it is the Lords creation and we can try to make the best according to His will.

just a sunrise

I have not written on the blog for a long time,

but this morning looking out the window, still half asleep, I was touched by the beauty on the greetings between winter and autumn. The sun

shone on the tree tops coming up slowly and

changing the view indescribable. I just put on my housecoat and still in slippers (and a touch of cold still making me cough) went outside to take

the pictures that never will come up the same again. I took a lot, well knowing that I will have to keep some just for my own poetry work. Having copy rights I may not put , at least I don't know if it will be good to, put them on the blog. I don't even know if anyone is reading my blog. It realy does not matter, I just had to express my joy of the Great Painter's art. Though this morning will never be repeated again even in the nature, much less on my camera. It was so beautiful I could not resist to put at least one on. The colours of the trees at their peak brightness, the whiteness of the frost: autumn meeting the winter's signals. Kind of

sad, unavoidable, nevertheless coming. Beauty! No painter can put it on the canvas this

combination - it don't last long.

Just the Almighty's picture for us to realize the wonders we can not create by ourselves.

I am just running out of words how to describe the feeling during the half hour the scenery changed. I got some on the pictures, but - it made me feel really joyful, humble and anxious to share it with someone.

It did not last. The sun came up, the frost had to retreat. Clouds came up. The colored leaves slowly dropped. By the afternoon there was no more bright colored trees or frost covered grass.

The evening rain closed the day with darkness. All is left - few pictures of bright start for an other day without knowing if or whether there be an other day...

I've bean working on a new poetry book

and this one isn't going to be in it

because of the picture. So I still like

to pass for people to read it .

The forgotten road

Once upon a time

People had a need

For a place to worship God

Shortage of finances made

Volunteers build

A cross at a summer camp

Getting more money for living

The road to praise God

Had no more use

Wild greenery took over

Moss covered the cross...

Does God sit under it and cry?...

First day of spring, according to calendar

It does not look like the sun will shine today. It does not help to receive the new season with smile. March is always treacherous and it isn't over yet.
I've done my laundry and thoughts are still twirling in my mind about a thought I started yesterday, but got interrupted by a phone call.
I was rereading a book by Theodor Storm, a German writer. It was the only book I brought with me to Canada. It had the story "Immensee" ( Lake name in Germany) in it. I could not remember why I did chose this book, so I have to read it again to remember what tied me to save it. It does feel strange - the souvenirs we keep for years and most of the time don't even remember where we placed them.
I do have another miniature book I brought in a coat pocket with me when I left Latvia. It is written by Zenta Maurins - a writer who had to spend her whole life, since the age of 5 in wheelchair do to polio. Her book is called " Neaizsutita vestule" (English "Not mailed letter"). It does make me feel hanging somewhere in between. I wish I had some friend who could read these books (mind you they are in German and Latvian) and sort of remember the feelings they created in me then to treasure them till now. I don't know if I will get peace or feel more lonely after I try to remember what touched me then to save thees particular books for so long...
I don't even understand what made me go and look at those books yesterday? What am I missing to bring it up ? An other instance of making an issue or imaginative story? What has touched my mind or soul? Is there an answer?

early smile

Do the primulas know that spring is just few days away? Mine are all in buds and this one has been brave enough to open the first bloom ignoring the ice still around. Maybe March will forget to get out as a lion. It has been so long ago that it was normal for the snow to melt in March.

Nottawasaga river is high. The fine rain and a bit warmer sun is melting the snow slowly. We might not have spring floods as severe as the last few years.

That little flower is so brave - I guess I should start getting "spring fever" too... The messy snow does not cheer and even so the bit of rain does its good, it is hard to have a peaceful mind.

I am impatient waiting...

2010/01/03

Just snowing the third day in a row,

very fine flakes,

but little drops of water

make the big oceans -

so these little snowflakes

with the help of unruly wind

covers the world

to keep us from running,

making a day to think

without going anywhere.

I looked at the pictures taken this year

only three days -

weather we like it or not

-inconvenient - learn patience -

- and then I thought this picture

shows a sight of a veil to cover

all the grime, if only for a moment...

...good reason to be grateful...

New Years Day 2010/01/01

...white

the colour of purity

snow

expected for Christmas

winter solstice

December 21st, no snow

my primula still
blooms November 1st

This morning all is white, all is covered with soft snow.

New year begins pure white and still keeps snowing.

Actually - I feel peace - clean, serene, not by our creation -

-just be still and know - we make the paper calendar

-the Great Creator finds it different -

-enjoy in peace and take a resolution for the

New Year to let it all be taken care by the Almighty Power...